Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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