careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I need to calm my uterus...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
