You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
