I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Randomize
