Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
