FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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