It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
