I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
