This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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