she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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