My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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