i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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