Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I supernannyed him into submission
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
