As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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