Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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