i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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