me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
