Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
