I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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