I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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