I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
