I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
