I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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