I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize