You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
