does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Even my vagina gasped.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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