Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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(204): View more from Manitoba

So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

You would...

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(502): View more from Kentucky

update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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(415): View more from California

Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.

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