Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...