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did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
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