you suck at this game today
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?