If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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