he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize