Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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