Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize