he wants to bone in the snuggie
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize