Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
