Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize