Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dual....:-)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
