I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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