4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
