You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As shirtless as possible
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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