i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well I just put wine in my tea
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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