So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
