you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
