Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
