absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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