whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
