Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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