"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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