just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
