you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
