Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
