she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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