Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
