Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize