i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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