i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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