Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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