She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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