Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
