So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
