it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
