Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
