so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
