the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
