are you still at the devil's house?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
