im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
thus making me awesome and them whores
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
