she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
